OUCH - The Organisation of Ultra Crass Humorists !!!

2009-07-13T19:39:00.000-07:00

What is Muttiah Muralitharan's least fav song??
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"Apun bola, tu meri Laila..."
"Woh boli fektaa hai saala"

2009-01-25T06:56:00.000-08:00

Why cant the Indian government do anything to harm Satyam??

Their motto is 'Satyam-eva Jayate'!!

2009-01-09T00:39:00.000-08:00

Jesus Christ was actually Indian....bolo kaise?
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It's written on the cross itself: "I NRI"

2008-06-12T00:56:00.000-07:00

From Ku Klutz Klan:
The no of stars in the universe is 9*10^21 -56... why the 'minus 56'?
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Saif tore them down in the Tashan song!!

2008-04-29T11:57:00.001-07:00

If a rhinoceros learns magic, what would it be called??
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Ans: Gendalf

2008-04-28T21:58:00.001-07:00

Went to F-cafe last week and Nikhil was so hungry for food he dug into the first pasta that arrived... alas, it was a non-veg pasta and our man is a pure vegetarian!! One leap of thought later, this one came up...

What is the worst thing that has happened when a veggie man ate non-veg by mistake?
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The 1857 Mutiny!! :D

2008-04-11T03:50:00.000-07:00

This one comes from Girish Rathor...

Why do people watch a football game before they start drinking?
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Because it gives them a kick!!

2007-10-08T01:59:00.000-07:00

Coined this in Goa last weekend.

There was once a dye merchant who had set up his business at home. He had a neighbour who was immensely found of dogs. One day, one of her pet bitches gave birth to 6 puppies. One of these puppies turned out to be very naughty, and tried to devise various methods of running away from home. During one of his various attempts, one day he landed up at the dye merchant's house. He lost his way, and in the confusion, tipped over a vat of green dye on his body, and started yelping. On hearing this, the merchant composed a song. Which song was it?
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Ans: Bole re Puppy Haraa

2007-09-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

Shamanth cracked this one sometime back...

There are two brothers who run an egg farm... they split the business and start their own farms... a movie is made on this story... what is the name of the movie?
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Andaaz apna apna... :D

2007-06-23T04:29:00.000-07:00

The Computer center here at IIMK is called the CC...

So what happens if I use a proxy server inside?
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BCC... :D

2007-05-01T01:54:00.000-07:00

This happened in the office a few days back. There was this guy who was looking for a TI board to run a few tests. Unfortunately there were none which were free at the time.
My advice to him; Just don't do anything. That way he'll soon get bo(a)r(e)d. He can then use the board to run his tests.

2006-10-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

Q: The Great Flood comes again and this time Noah uses a stack to store all the animals in his ark. Which is the last animal?
A: Pop goes the weasel!

Q: What did the Afro-Kannadiga say when he wanted to empty his bursting bladder?
A: Loo Bega!

Q: What did Lahari Gowda want of Reverend William Archibald?
A: Gahari Lowda

2006-07-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

One from WWII time Germany...

Two neighbouring families, with the earning members in the SS... both are faithful to the Fuhrer, but hate each other... The son of Family 1 loves the daughter of Family 2... They are discouraged by their families, but they elope anyway and get married and live happily ever after...
What is the moral of the story??
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Miya biwi raazi, to kya karega Nazi... :)

2006-06-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when a man is scared out of his wits he lives in his mouth?

Ans: When he's really scared his heart is in his mouth, and home is where the heart is!
Hahahahahahah!!!

2006-04-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

Here's one for the fans of the movie "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid'.
If Roger Waters were to form a new band with the gang, what would they call their debut single?

-> Another Hole in the Wall.

2006-03-10T00:44:00.000-08:00

Presenting some PJ's concocted by Error in Unmaad, plus one I cracked when a little inebriated.
So here we are:

1. Why is a square intelligent? (Err's creation, strictly for Tamil speakers)

B-cos it has Naal-edge

2. And why is an octagon more intelligent than a square?

Cos it has double Naal-edge

3. If Bob Marley made a Hindi film, what would he call it?

Ek Phool, Do Marley

2006-03-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

(Not really a PJ, but what the heck...)

Why is life like a black man's left ball?

Because its not right and its not fair!

2006-02-28T07:35:00.000-08:00

Kutty just happened to twist his ankle by 90 degrees. (OUCH! That sounds painful)
So which ankle was it?

Ans: His right ankle (angle) !!!

Van Gogh Special !!!

2006-02-22T22:10:00.000-08:00

Q. What do you call the half brother of Van Gogh who's afraid of heights ?

A. Verti-Gogh.

Q. What would call the obnoxious cousin of Van Gogh ?

A. Please-Gogh.

2006-02-22T06:09:00.000-08:00

Well, twas about time I started posting too...

So here goes...

1. What do you call a whore who keeps changing her colors? (Got this from Alfi)

A. Chameli-on

2. Some LOTR stuff...

a. What is the dwarfs' favorite Indian festival?
--> Ganapati Bappa Moria

b. And why did Sauron's house have many entrances?
--> Cos he lives in More-Door

c. And why does Boromir's house have no entrances?
--> He lives in Gone-Door

That's all for now...

2006-02-21T01:14:00.000-08:00

1. (For Mafia enthusiasts only) Why is the Jester very good at editing text files?
A: 'cuz he's the Village Idiot (VI)

2. A superstitious guy keeps a spreadsheet open whenever he observes a fast. Why?
A: 'cuz then he'd be Excel-Lent!

3. What d'you call my blog if it hosted lots of gay porn? (Thanks Sanat)
A. The Loin's Share

4. What do you get when you compress Parijat Mukherjee? (Potter)
A: MP3! (Pari-Chaat Mukherjee = PCM = Pulse Code Modulation)

5. What measuring instrument is used to judge the quality of a digital electronics book?
A: Mano-meter (Morris/Mano)

2006-02-16T23:17:00.000-08:00

This gem of a PJ comes from The Cyborg...

Q. What would Mahavira say to Tarzan the Apeman ?

A. You Tarzan, Me Jain !!!

2006-02-14T06:59:00.000-08:00

This one's straight from the Lion's mouth.

We were sitting at some local Sagar having breakfast. Five of us had ordered Cheese Masala Dosa (not anywhere close to the PBM Dosa at Sangeetha's).
Kutty says. "If you were to have Cheese Masala Dosa and open the window then everyting would be black outside. Why?"

Ans: Coz it's CMD follwed by opening the window.

Here's another. What is the variant of Apple's Portable audio player sold in Thambiland called?

Ans; O- Podu !!! ( the nano version is sold as O-Podu Nanu :) )

Orthopaedics

2006-02-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

Ah, looks like I'll have to do the honors (tho' as Potter would say, my B.E. score has no chance at an Honors ;):

1. What do you call it when your lung leaks? (courtesy Potter)
A. An (h)airline fracture.

2. What do you call it when you rip your fave pair of jeans?
A. A lee-ga(r)ment tear.